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The Long, Long Trailer by Clinton Twiss

This is the true and very funny tale of a trailer that grew and grew until it became a fearsome monster.

When Clinton Twiss and his wife decided to take to the open road and see the United States through the eyes of a trailer they did not foresee the pitfalls of such a mode of travel. With the naive enthusiasm of neophytes they plunged into the purchase and equipment of their rig a twenty-eight-foot aluminum “whale” which, from the moment the decision was made, came to dominate their lives.

Installing cooking and toilet facilities of Henry Kaiser and the patience of Job, and the ingenuity of Hudini. Twiss soon discovered that taking a shower in the trailer was like playing the trombone in a phone booth and his wife Merle decided that cooking a meal in a moving monster was like a roller coaster in reverse. “At moderate extra cost” ... which plunged them into the red by a few thousand dollars... they shortly had the snappiest home on the road.

Inwardly hysterical, outwardly atrophied, they set out one fine day from Los Angeles, determined to hit every one of the the 48 states. To handle their home on wheels required a driving skill comparable to a B-29 pilot, except a B-29 pilot doesn’t have to back up flower-lined driveways or squeeze into tiny parking spaces or travel truck-chock highways. Add to this the problem of feeding nickels and pennies to fourteen parking meters while stopping for a short snack with a fellow trailerite.

The rare moments of triumph... where they had successfully maneuvered into a tightly packed trailer camp, or boldly conquered a tortuous mountain pass... revived their frequently flagging spirits as the Twiss caravan ambidextrously maneuvered the length and breadth of the land.

Told with delectable humor and sparkling wit, The Long, Long Trailer will make you chuckle to the last page. Whether the author tells of bumptious Wilford out of Bendix, going the wrong way up a one-way boulevard in Fort Worth, or comparing manuscripts with James Jones another budding ‘author,’ there is abundant merriment throughout The Long, Long Trailer.

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